Am I a Sexaholic?
This section will help explain what we mean when we use the term Sexaholic.
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Am I a Sexaholic?
Listen to an audio overview explaining what we mean when we use the term Sexaholic.
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Self-Assessment Tools
Use these resources to help you reflect on your experiences and understand if SA might be right for you.
Self-Assessment
Test Yourself: Twenty Questions
- Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior?
- That you'd be better off if you didn't keep "giving in"?
- That sex or stimuli are controlling you?
- Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong in your sexual behavior?
- Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or because you can't cope?
- Do you feel guilt, remorse or depression afterward?
- Has your pursuit of sex become more compulsive?
- Does it interfere with relations with your spouse?
- Do you have to resort to images or memories during sex?
- Does an irresistible impulse arise when the other party makes the overtures or sex is offered?
- Do you keep going from one "relationship" or lover to another?
- Do you feel the "right relationship" would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being so promiscuous?
- Do you have a destructive need, a desperate sexual or emotional need for someone?
- Does pursuit of sex make you careless for yourself or the welfare of your family or others?
- Has your effectiveness or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive?
- Do you lose time from work for it?
- Do you turn to a lower environment when pursuing sex?
- Do you want to get away from the sex partner as soon as possible after the act?
- Although your spouse is sexually compatible, do you still masturbate or have sex with others?
- Have you ever been arrested for a sex-related offense?
SA Literature © 1982, 1984, 1989, 2001.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.
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The Vital Importance of Mixed Meetings
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Finding A Sponsor, A Temporary Sponsor, and Other Women in Recovery
Guidance on building your recovery network and finding the support you need
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Finding A Sponsor, A Temporary Sponsor, and Other Women in Recovery
Listen to an audio overview of sponsorship and building your support network.
Purpose of a Sponsor
A sponsor is a member of SA who offers support to newcomers or other members in several ways. They can connect us to other sober members as well as offer support as we get sober from lusting and acting out. However, one of the most important roles of a sponsor is to take us through the Twelve Steps.
Having gone through the Steps herself and being sober, a sponsor understands what we are going through firsthand. Some sponsorship relationships can last a long time, but not always. Picking a sponsor can be as simple as finding someone who has worked the Steps and who has the sobriety and recovery that we want for ourselves. There is no such thing as a perfect sponsor.
Perfection in a sponsor is neither necessary nor possible (SA 73).
A secondary purpose of a sponsor is to continue to guide us through the Steps and to offer their experience, strength, and hope (ESH) as we learn how to live our lives and begin to relate to others in a healthy way.
We may need a service sponsor as we become more involved in SA. Service plays an indispensable role as we mature in sobriety. While the Twelve Steps “is a design for living” (AA 15), so are the Twelve Traditions and the Twelve Concepts a design for living, starting with our SA community. An experienced service sponsor, who may be our sponsor or another individual, can be our guide as we learn to apply these principles in our service activities.
If we can’t find a sponsor who has what we want in recovery, we can always keep looking while working with the person who is willing to help us get started. The most important thing we can do at present is work the Steps. They work if we work them.
Purpose of a Temporary Sponsor
The primary focus of a temporary sponsor is to guide us as we begin to work the Steps, orient us to the program, and help us find a sponsor as soon as possible.
We may be asked to restart the Steps from the beginning once we obtain a sponsor. We gain new insights each time we go through the Steps. We will continue working the Steps for the rest of our lives.
The Purpose of Finding Women with Strong Recovery
The purpose of finding women with strong recovery is to develop a network of those who have gone before us and who have experienced success in working this Program. Their ESH is life-giving. Without a lot of support from multiple people with strong recovery, we can be overcome by challenges.
These women can never replace the need for a Higher Power and working the Steps with a sponsor. However, this essential network of sober women provides a unique and irreplaceable support for our recovery. See White Book Step Zero on page 63.
Steps to Find a Temporary Sponsor, Sponsor, or Network of Women with Strong Recovery
- Ask Higher Power for guidance in finding a sponsor, temporary sponsor, and supportive women with strong sobriety.
- We attend SA mixed meetings (women and men together) that focus on the solution. When there is an opportunity during the meeting, we can say, “I am looking for a sponsor or a temporary sponsor. Is there a woman who can help me, please?” If there are no women in the meeting, ask for contact information for a woman in the Program.
We can also attend women’s meetings if we can not find a sponsor in mixed meetings. We need to be patient and persistent until we find a sponsor..
In all meetings, we can ask for women’s contact information and reach out to them for check-in calls and support. - Contact Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Office (SAICO) at www.sa.org or 1-866-424-8777 and ask for help to find a sponsor or temporary sponsor.
- We can ask to join SA group chats that include women and post in those chats that we are looking for a sponsor or temporary sponsor.
- Having obtained contacts, we ask them for prayers and to refer us to anyone available for sponsorship.
Fellowship Literature
SA Sponsorship
Recovery Literature
Take the Steps
This brochure explains why working the Twelve Steps matters and how the steps support lasting recovery. Use the options below to open or download it.
Text Preview
Many sexaholics are highly visual, so this brochure is an attempt to provide a visual explanation of the importance and benefit of actually working the 12 steps of Sexaholics Anonymous. Along with that, its purpose is to help demystify the 12 Steps and make them more understandable.
Additional Resources
Essential documents, audio recordings, and literature to support your recovery journey
Audio Series
ESSAY Magazine August 2021Supporting Women in SA
Track 1 of 17
The Practical Tool of Maintaining Boundaries
ESSAY Magazine August 2021
Playlist 17 tracks
SA Literature
ESSAY Supporting Women in SA
Read the comprehensive ESSAY magazine with insights and guidance from women in recovery.
Download ESSAY →SA Literature
SA Meeting Participation Statement
Fellowship Brochure
Why Stop Lusting?
Fellowship Brochure
SA is for Women
Fellowship Brochure
Women’s Welcome Packet Brochure
Printable Texts
Audio Scripts
- Am I a Sexaholic? Open Script →
- The Vital Importance of Mixed Meetings Open Script →
- Practicing Healthy Interactions Open Script →
- The Role of Women’s Meetings Open Script →
- How to Find a Sponsor, a Temporary Sponsor, and Other Women in Recovery Open Script →