Overcoming Father Anger

(from Essay February 2019) Restoring damaged relationships My disease destroyed the relationship  between my father and me. He was a dominant alcoholic, disapproving of everything I did. Phone calls with my father ended with me throwing my phone to pieces against the wall. I believed this was a reasonable reaction for someone with a father like I had. I always acted out after calling him. My resentment against my father was fuel for my...

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I Was Exactly Where I Was Supposed To Be — Harvey A.

(from Essay February 2019) Harvey was in the right place My wife and I were asked to give a SA/S-Anon workshop in Toronto.  We planned a vacation around this trip, including driving to St. Louis from Nashville and then continue the drive to Toronto via Niagara Falls.  This was a bit optimistic for a 79 year old man, but sanity has not been one of my stronger qualities! It was a 1 1/2 day drive from St. Louis to Toronto. We checked into the...

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SOBRIEDAD Y RELACIONES DISTORSIONADAS / SOBRIETY AND DISTORTED RELATIONS

(Essay February 2019) SOBRIEDAD Y RELACIONES DISTORSIONADAS En mi experiencia, veo la sobriedad como un lago tranquilo que refleja un cielo azul, sin nubes, sin ansiedad. Recuerdo que cuando tenía una recaída era como si alguien (yo mismo) hubiera lanzado una inmensa roca y las aguas en la superficie del lago se agitaran, dejando a mi mente, mis sensaciones, confusas y alteradas, con ansiedad por consumir más y más. Había perdido la paz. Era...

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I Don’t Need To Know – Art B.

[Originally published in Essay 2016 #3] I suffer from a sort of hypervigilance. Something in me wants to identify and define every object, every person, every angle and surface in my physical environment. My ears are open; my eyes are taking in the very texture of things around me. At some point, a long time ago, this hypervigilance became a tool of my lust. In “insobriety,” I was always looking and listening for triggers: people and images...

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A “Magic Sentence”

  A “Magic Sentence” — Arousal Can Be Optional Essay October 2018 In my SA experience, I have encountered many times when lust and arousal seem ready to overwhelm me. In recent conversations I’ve also heard these common sexaholic scenarios: I was exhausted on Saturday night from the events of the day. I went to bed before my wife. I woke up when she crawled in with me and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally, desperate, I got up to...

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Back to Basics — Harvey A.

Back to the Basics (Essay December 2018) It seems like only yesterday that my old friend and sponsor Jesse L., shared with me a wonderful story. He said that there once was a world-renowned football team that had successful seasons year after year. One year, however, things were not going well for the team. They were certainly not playing their best. Their famous, well-respected coach felt it was time to intervene. During the halftime of one of...

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