Live and Let Live (Mina S., Dubai, UAE)
I used to love philosophy and intellectuality, hiding behind wise quotes so that I would impress women, get them to lust after me, and impress men so that I would be accepted. This all derives from low self-esteem of course. I spent a great deal of money and time collecting books – religious, spiritual, high brow and I used anything l could from these to manipulate others, to make them feel that I was essential to them. Under the spell of lust, I did not care about the other person’s age or marital status. I just wanted connection with...
read moreSober Is Not Well (Ameer M., Iraq)
According to Tradition Three, I simply need to stop all my addictive thoughts and behavior in order to be part of this happy clan! However, as I grow in recovery, I feel it is more and more about emotional sobriety as well as sexual sobriety. Time and again, I see sober members settling for sexual abstinence as the end-game. I see them drawn into all kinds of emotional maelstroms by defects of character that are still active: resentment, fear, selfishness, and dishonesty. The idea that I am fine, except for my sexual acting out, is deceiving:...
read moreI’m Growing Into Some Kind of Emotional Adulthood (Nicholas S., UK)
I’m Nicholas and I’m a sexaholic. I acted out with pornography, masturbation, prostitution, adultery, promiscuity, sexualizing men, women, children, animals and objects, voyeurism and exhibitionism, romantic fantasy, sexual intrigue, and emotional affairs. And by the grace of God and the program of Sexaholics Anonymous, I haven’t had to do any of that stuff for over 27 years and for that I am incredibly grateful. I actually came into recovery on Dec 10, 1990. I was 12-stepped by someone in another “S” fellowship. Her name...
read moreWith God, All Things Are Possible (Jesse S., Alabama, USA)
I’m driving. My son is beside me in the passenger seat. 80% of his body is covered in rash. He’s having trouble breathing. He is going into anaphylactic shock and may stop breathing within the hour, unless he gets medical attention. I’m speeding down the road on the way to the hospital with my caution lights flashing. I get a phone call that I ignore. I don’t even look to see who’s calling. No time. I’m not allowed to enter the hospital with my son. Only one person can accompany the patient in the emergency room...
read moreNo Short Cuts to Recovery (Alina M., Saint Petersburg, Russia)
For the last four years I have been serving women who have decided to change their lives with the help of the Twelve Steps. During this time, I started working Steps with more than 30 women. As of today, none of my sponsees have completed all Twelve Steps. But there are several women whose hard work and whose growth in recovery make me believe that the Steps work for them the same way as for me. The Steps create a new free personality, instead of the slavishly dependent old one. And that’s what I want to share with you and with my...
read moreSponsorship: Benefits & Challenges (Bill F., Sydney, Australia)
I began sponsoring when I was almost 18 months’ sober and was working on Step Six. I was hesitant because there was, and there remains, no formal guidance on how to sponsor, but my mentor told me it was time for me to step up to the plate. I owe that sponsor, who died shortly afterwards, an incalculable debt because guiding others has played a huge role in my continuing recovery. In fact, I am sure that I would not be almost 11 years’ sober if I had not accepted the challenge to do some heavy lifting. And sometimes it is heavy lifting, but...
read moreGod Was Always With Me Through My Trial (Paul M., Auckland, New Zealand)
Until about four years ago, I was living in a country in Africa with my wife. We had gone there to set up a humanitarian project to help widows, orphans and children. We’d been married for a bit over 38 years at that time. The stress of setting up a project from scratch, put an awful strain on our marriage. I thought we had a good, strong marriage. I didn’t realize at the time that the strain was growing us apart. Nor did I realize I was a sexaholic and enslaved by lust. I’d never even heard the word sexaholic before until a...
read moreHelping God’s Sheep in Prison (Marty, Ohio, USA)
My name is Marty. I am a very grateful child of God and a recovering sexaholic/alcoholic, two things about myself that it took years and a fall from grace for me to accept. I am writing this from my kitchen and, as I look out the door, I do not see any razor-wire fences – a view I had for 25 years because of my abuse of prepubescent girls as a Catholic priest. As I reflect I have an awareness that this is not my story but the story of God’s love of me. He knew me in the womb and knew I would fall under selfishness, pride, and...
read moreEssay in Africa (Kwaku O., Eastern Region, Ghana)
Ghana, Kenya, Botswana, South Africa, Zimbabwe, and Ivory Coast are the countries whose citizens have been participating in the Africa Sunday SA Zoom meeting every Sunday at 17:30 GMT. This is only one Zoom meeting out of many in the continent, and there are more countries with SA members in addition to those mentioned above. Addiction to lust knows no limits; it transcends language and nationality. I am so grateful for my 12-step program in SA; it has given me and people throughout the world the gift of hope. The Essay Magazine: Free...
read moreSA for the Essay (Anonymous)
I am a very grateful sexaholic and member of SA. My first experience of SA came in 2006, but unable to see the problem clearly, I left and did not return until 2012. I attended another S-fellowship for a time and saw a friend walking with someone I knew was an SA member. This prompted me to return to SA. I was reluctant at first, but a miracle happened and I surrendered: to life, to me, to my way of life and to SA. I was willing to do whatever I had to do to stay sober. In 2014, I attended an EMER regional convention in Israel, as well as 3...
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