God Was Always With Me Through My Trial (Paul M., Auckland, New Zealand)
Until about four years ago, I was living in a country in Africa with my wife. We had gone there to set up a humanitarian project to help widows, orphans and children. We’d been married for a bit over 38 years at that time. The stress of setting up a project from scratch, put an awful strain on our marriage. I thought we had a good, strong marriage. I didn’t realize at the time that the strain was growing us apart. Nor did I realize I was a sexaholic and enslaved by lust. I’d never even heard the word sexaholic before until a...
read moreHelping God’s Sheep in Prison (Marty, Ohio, USA)
My name is Marty. I am a very grateful child of God and a recovering sexaholic/alcoholic, two things about myself that it took years and a fall from grace for me to accept. I am writing this from my kitchen and, as I look out the door, I do not see any razor-wire fences – a view I had for 25 years because of my abuse of prepubescent girls as a Catholic priest. As I reflect I have an awareness that this is not my story but the story of God’s love of me. He knew me in the womb and knew I would fall under selfishness, pride, and...
read moreEssay in Africa (Kwaku O., Eastern Region, Ghana)
Ghana, Kenya, Botswana, South Africa, Zimbabwe, and Ivory Coast are the countries whose citizens have been participating in the Africa Sunday SA Zoom meeting every Sunday at 17:30 GMT. This is only one Zoom meeting out of many in the continent, and there are more countries with SA members in addition to those mentioned above. Addiction to lust knows no limits; it transcends language and nationality. I am so grateful for my 12-step program in SA; it has given me and people throughout the world the gift of hope. The Essay Magazine: Free...
read moreSA for the Essay (Anonymous)
I am a very grateful sexaholic and member of SA. My first experience of SA came in 2006, but unable to see the problem clearly, I left and did not return until 2012. I attended another S-fellowship for a time and saw a friend walking with someone I knew was an SA member. This prompted me to return to SA. I was reluctant at first, but a miracle happened and I surrendered: to life, to me, to my way of life and to SA. I was willing to do whatever I had to do to stay sober. In 2014, I attended an EMER regional convention in Israel, as well as 3...
read moreEssay Service (Lawrence M., USA)
Lust addiction and sexual acting-out brought me into SA, but it was the spirituality of the SA literature and deeper spiritual fellowship I found in SA meetings that called me to perform service in SA. With a background in writing and editing, I served on the SA Literature Committee that edited the White Book and Recovery Continues as well as other SA literature. I became the Essay editor after Roy K. turned over administrative functions he performed for the Central Office to the Fellowship at the Chicago conference in July 1991. I had been...
read morePlease send letter to our friends in prison (Jim D., Wisconsin, USA)
Dear Essay, I am an incarcerated SA member due to my lust/pornography addiction. By the grace of God and SA I have been sober since Dec 11, 2019. I have been very blessed to remain in contact with my SA sponsor allowing me to complete the Steps and start working on the Traditions. I know many sexaholics in prison are not as blessed as I am. First of all, I want to thank you so much for providing meetings in print via the Essay magazine which is a wonderful resource! Congratulations with your 40th Anniversary. Second, I want to make a...
read more“Give Myself a Chance for Another Day” (Joanna M., Warsaw, Poland)
What was the fellowship like in my early days of recovery? According to what I remember and knew, it was: certainly not ideal! We had no published literature but used pdfs and printouts. We didn’t have SA materials to work on the Steps but used materials from other communities. Multiple years sobriety was something unusual. We were learning to use the Steps and didn’t know much about the mysterious traditions. There were no women at the meetings. It took two years before other women came and stayed. There were five meetings...
read moreComing From AA, He Worked the Steps All Over Again in SA (Lawrence M., Virginia, USA)
I came to my first SA meeting in Karlsruhe, Germany, on Sunday, May 26, 1985. I was one of three newcomers at a meeting of 20 men and women. As newcomers we were required to give a brief First Step in the form of answering set questions. Before I came to the meeting, I threw out my pornography. I also threw out phone numbers and addresses of women I knew from other 12-Step fellowships. I stopped acting out sexually. I date my sexual sobriety to two years after I stopped acting out because of lust in dreams. I was three years sober in...
read moreThe Emphasis of My Recovery Is on My Spiritual Condition (Masoud, Shiraz, Iran)
Masoud: Hello, I’m Masoud, a grateful recovering sexaholic. I have been sober for 17 years and 11 months. I am not a member of any other twelve-step fellowship. I have chosen, for this session, to share my experience of Step 11, how to improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power. Conscious contact with my Higher Power helps so much to stabilise my recovery, to deepen my recovery. My work, in the context of a Twelve-Step programme, to achieve a mature relationship with my Higher Power began at Step 2. I remember the initial work, taking...
read moreGrief Forced Her to Practice SA As a Lifestyle (Kawy, Nairobi, Kenya)
Grief was foreign to me. I had not experienced it as close as I did until my Dad passed away in June 2021. We were planning for a Father’s Day lunch just two days before he had an accident that caused some head injuries. Three days later, we were now planning for his funeral. At the time of his death, I had just finished my steps 4 & 5 and was working on steps 6&7 with my sponsor. My experience throughout the time of his death is engulfed by gratitude. Grief made me grateful to be an addict because I had tools to help me through the...
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