I started my SA story in a rural town in Australia. There were no SA meetings near me at the time. Being a sexaholic in a rural area is very challenging because there is a bad stigma attached to sex addiction. There was a Royal commission into sex abuse in the church. There are a lot of old world views where sex addiction is seen as something bad; something that doesn’t belong in our community. Sex addiction is connected to pedophilia as well. I lived in fear of people finding out I was a sex addict. They might connect me to those old world views.
The challenge was living with these old world views and not getting found out. I had nowhere to turn. I went to the video store and rented a movie called “Diaries of a Sex Addict.” There are no sex scenes in this movie, it just depicts the story of a man living a double life. I could relate to living a double life. I thought “That’s what I am. I’m a sex addict.” It was such a relief to figure out what I was. I had been seeing a counselor for many years. I told him I was a sexaholic, and he really didn’t know what to say because being a sexaholic isn’t something that is talked about in Australia. The counsellor said “just see women in a normal way.” He just didn’t understand this lust-driven addiction.
I was lost with nowhere to turn, again. Thankfully, an ex-girlfriend told me about SA. I drove four hours to my first SA meeting in Sydney. I knew this was the place for me, but I didn’t like being a sexaholic. In fact, I hated being a sexaholic. I hated going to SA meetings and I didn’t particularly like the members. I was sexually abused as a teenager, so I had old world views too, and thought something bad would happen to me in SA.
Nothing bad ever happened. I found lots of love and friendship in SA. How did I survive recovery living so far from the nearest SA meeting? I made lots of phone calls, joined lots of phone meetings, made connections all over the world, and went to SA conferences. These conferences would be the only times I met sexaholics in person.
At one of these events I met a long-term SA member from the UK who spoke about building an SA region with the fellowships in his part of the world. That was over 7 years ago. I went to work at building a region near me. With God’s help, we now have the Asia Pacific Online Unity Conference because of that chance meeting with that UK member. I’m also the first Indigenous Australian Trustee, so out of small things, big things grow! Against all odds, great things can happen with a BIG GOD on your side.
Jason C., Australia